Thursday, November 17, 2011

First thought

No one's first thought upon waking should ever be "we need to call the funeral home today to have them pick up our baby."

That was the only thought, repeating itself, as I tried to wrestle myself back into sleep this morning.  Eventually the tears won.  I unwound myself from the pile of blankets and headed to the bathroom to once again wash away the signs of childbirth from my tired, aching body.  I don't have the energy to think about showering, so I sit, wrapped in my robe, wishing this hadn't all just happened to me.

I have no idea how to get through today.  I can't even start to think about tomorrow.


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